Bringing Home Baby
 Bringing your new baby home is a really exciting time in the life
of your family. Whether this baby is your first or you are an experienced
parent, there are lots of things happening around your new addition and
their introduction to your home.
Here we have included a list of common things that you will find happening
in the first few weeks.
Feeding
Where possible encourage breast feeding. Breast milk is the recommended food for
babies under the age of six months. Having said that, lots of women make the
decision to formula feed their baby either due to personal preference or
circumstances out of their control. The most important thing is to do what is
right for you and your baby, whatever that decision may be. If you do decide to
breastfeed, it can be helpful to engage the services of a Lactation Consultant,
and become a member of the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA).
Sleeping and Your Rest
New babies need to feed every 2 to 4 hours, and this happens at all times of the
day and night. Make sure you take opportunities to rest and catch up on sleep
where possible. Take the phone off the hook, place a note on the door, do
whatever you need to do for ensuring that you are rested where possible. Most
people can tackle anything on a full night’s sleep, so don’t deny yourself a cat
nap. For all those parents who have other children at home, this will be a
little harder so you really do have to take advantage of the time you have to
yourself. If that means going to bed at 7pm when the kids go down to sleep for a
couple of weeks, so be it. And the golden rule – if someone offers to watch your
baby while you get an hours rest, say ‘thank you!’ and pop off to bed asap!
Housework and Chores
 Many women worry about the state of their house once they arrive home with a
baby, and it can become a sore point when you are sitting feeding surrounded by
(what you think is) mess. As difficult as it may be, no one expects you to be a
super mum and have everything done, spotless and organised in your first week
home. It takes time to adjust to your new routine and it is important to avoid
putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. At this stage of the game, your genera
health and wellbeing, and that of your baby and family are the most important
things. If the vacuuming misses a week here and there for the first little
while, it is no big deal. Where possible, see if someone else can take over some
of the day to day jobs to give you a hand in the first few weeks. The most
amazing gift I received with my first baby was my very good friend popping over
and grabbing my vacuum. She was a goddess in my eyes after that.
Helping Other Children Understand
When a new baby arrives there can be a period of adjustment for the whole
family. Children deal with stress differently it is important to recognise that
this may be a difficult time for your other children. Make sure you make an
effort to spend alone time with each of your children daily, even if it is just
reading a story for five minutes while you are waiting for the washing cycle to
finish. They need to be reminded that you love them and they need to feel as
though you are still there for them, even if you are sometimes busy doing other
things (like feeding a baby on the couch for an hour!). It is also important to
encourage children to be involved with the care of the baby. If you become over
protective and stop your other children helping with or touching the new baby it
can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration (especially in very young
children). Encourage them to help, cuddle, kiss, pat, bath and feed baby to
really promote a bond with their new sibling that will (hopefully) extend into
later life.
Post Natal Depression
Post Natal Depression is something that can affect any new parent, even mothers
who have had previous children. It can be something that just sneaks up on you,
so be vigilant as to how you are feeling. Discuss Post Natal Depression with
your partner before birth if possible so that you are both aware of the warning
signs and feel comfortable with your options for help just in case. There are
many services available to parents so take advantage of these if you are feeling
isolated, depressed or you have any issues relating to your own wellbeing or
those of your baby. If you feel uncomfortable speaking with a professional, seek
out a trusted friend or relative for a chat.
How Will I Get Through the First Few Weeks?
 If someone offers to help you – please accept it! People volunteer to help
because they care about you and your baby, not because they think you are
incompetent. If your mother-in-law or best friend offers to come over and
vacuum, let them. Sometimes it is nice for friends and family to feel useful
when a new baby arrives. You don’t have to be a martyr.
Arrange suitable times for people to visit if you are feeling overwhelmed. There
is nothing worse than a truck load of relatives showing up if you are having
breast-feeding difficulties, or having to play house when you are still in your
dressing gown at 5pm with a screaming newborn.
Look after yourself! Drink plenty of water, eat well, sleep when you can,
take your vitamins, go for a walk and get out of the house daily. Unfortunately,
as mothers we often make sure everyone else is cared for before caring for
ourselves. Make sure you are a priority by staying healthy and taking time to
spend on you. An occasional treat in my day is to walk the girls down to the
local shops in the pram and pick up a take-away coffee. We then do two laps
around the park and during this time I get to drink my coffee in peace as
everyone either sleeps in the pram or has a quick run before going home. If you
are clever enough to go a little further and manage a dinner out with the girls
or a solo shopping trip, well done to you!! The point is, don't leave yourself
til last. Remember, you were a person before you were a mother and deserve a
little looking after too.
Try not to feel that you are responsible for entertaining guests. Place the
tea/ coffee/ sugar and biscuits on the bench with a few mugs and make it clear
(politely) that your visitors are welcome to help themselves to a drink. Your
priority is yourself and your new baby, not being wait-servant to a house full
of people. Really, who needs the additional pressure!
Try not to stop doing what you did before. A new baby is an addition to your
life, not the complete alteration of your life, so make sure you still try to
feature the same routine activities in your week as was before you had children.
Obviously you may not be nite-clubbing for a while, but keep going out for
dinner, catching up with friends, having BBQ’s etc. Social contact is really
important to maintaining your sanity as a parent, so make sure you catch up with
friends and family regularly. This definitely gets easier as children get older.
 Join or create a Parent’s Group. There is nothing better than having a good
laugh (or a good cry) with a room full of people who understand exactly how you
are feeling. It is always nice to know that you have someone to call and chat to
when you are having a bad day.
In the first 6 weeks, ensure you arrange all of your paediatric and obstetric
follow up visits and a visit to your local Early Childhood nurse. This is a
great way to ensure that your little one is developing well and gives you a
chance to ask any questions you may have since arriving home. In some areas, the
local Early Childhood Nurse conducts free home visits, so take advantage of this
service if available.
Make the most of opportunities to spend time alone with your partner.
Partners often feel as though they have been bumped down the food chain (so to
speak) for the first couple of weeks as your focus and priorities change to cope
with your new addition. Even if it is a coffee together on the back step when
the baby is sleeping, your time as a couple is still very important. As your
baby gets older, arrange to leave them with a trusted friend or relative and go
out for a few hours to give you valuable time alone, even if it is simply just
to catch up on sleep!
Remember, life will not always be this busy but try to enjoy it where you
can. It will get easier!
Words by Kirsty Newbury
Resources
Australian Breast Feeding Association -
www.breastfeeding.asn.au
Australian Lactation Consultants Association Ltd -
www.alca.asn.au
Beyond Blue (dealing with Post Natal Depression) -
www.beyondblue.org.au
Playgroup Australia -
www.playgroupaustralia.com.au
The Raising Children Network –
www.raisingchildren.net.au
Tresillian Help Line (parent support) -
www.tresillian.net
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