Toilet Training Your Child

So you are thinking of taking the plunge into the realms of Toilet Training. For many families it can be a very stressful and anxious time with accidents, mess and a whole new world of washing! Many Websites and books will claim to be able to toilet train your child in under 3 days. Unfortunately this claim places unnecessary pressure on both children and parents!

Toilet training takes time and patience and it doesn’t always happen overnight (you are very lucky if it does!). Generally speaking, most children will signal to you that they are ready to start toilet training and may take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to become confident.

When Is My Child Ready To Toilet Train?

Children are individuals who develop at differing rates. Some children can be toilet trained as early as 18 months, and others not until perhaps 3 years of age. Girls generally use the toilet earlier than boys, and if your child has a learning delay, it may take a little longer. It is generally recommend that you wait until the weather is warmer as your child will be able to get to the toilet quickly without having to take off lots of layers of clothes (this also helps with your washing!).

Toilet training should not be attempted if your child is experiencing a significant change to the family environment, such as a new baby arriving, moving house, or starting child care. Staying dry all night, may also take some extra time. Toilet training can be started when your child is giving clear signals that they are ready, and the process should be treated as another step in their development.

Signs that your child might be ready to begin toilet training can include the following:

• Your child’s nappy is staying dry for longer periods (about 2 hours at a time)

• Your child is aware that they have had a bowel motion in their nappy

• Your child is aware that they are uncomfortable when wet or dirty

• Your child has an interest in the toilet, and tries to copy other’s behaviour

• Your child can label some of their body parts

• Your child has a bowel motion at a similar time each day

• Your child’s bowel motions are of a firm consistency

• Your child can sit still for short periods of time

• Your child is able to follow simple instructions

But How Do I Do It?

• Decide whether you will be using a potty, or the toilet.  If you are using the toilet you may need a small step (this can be purchased at any baby shop, or hardware store).

• Show your child how to use the toilet or potty.

• Explain in simple words to your child what you would like them to do.

• Ensure your child is wearing clothes that are easy to remove.  Being able to remove clothing quickly is essential. Generally items such as overalls or press-stud trousers set your child up for failure.

• Purchase “grown up” undies and lots of them! Make it a special and exciting shopping expedition together!

• Remind your child every half hour in the beginning that they may need to go to the toilet. As your child becomes more confident you will have to remind them less frequently.

•  Always try to remain positive about toilet training your child.  Your child is not ready if you are constantly doing battle to get them onto the toilet. If that is the case, stop everything and try again in a few months.

• Praise, Praise and more Praise.  There are some simple tools that you can use to get your child excited. Suggested tools could be: allowing them to flush the toilet once they have made a “deposit”; the “Golden Toilet” Award for being dry for a number of days; a sticker chart; or for boys, placing a ping pong ball in the toilet for them to ‘aim’ at (ping pong balls don't disappear when you flush and so won't cause plumbing problems).

• Remember as part of toilet training, your child should be encouraged to practice good hygiene.  Remind your child to wash, dry and moisturise their hands each time they use the toilet – this should still be completed if you have not had a success.

Toilet training generally takes time and patience. Your child should be praised when they accomplish a successful toilet trip, but they should also be encouraged for trying. Being positive for your child is the most helpful thing you can do for them at this stage.

If at any point you are concerned about your child’s toileting progress, contact your Early Childhood Health Professional for more advice. Occasionally problems with toilet training can be medically related, so seek further advice if you are worried.

Keep a sense of humour, toilet training doesn’t go on forever!